


Forget the Birds and Bees

by Chocchi



Category: Persona 3
Genre: Asexual Character, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5025058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocchi/pseuds/Chocchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akihiko's suggestion to add sex to their relationship backfires spectacularly in his own face. Shinjiro just wishes it had happened a little more gently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget the Birds and Bees

**Author's Note:**

> or: choc writes the trans!shinji and ace!aki fic they want to see in the world.  
> shoutout to my friend jel for looking this over to me, and as per usual, tenma for their phenomenal beta work!!  
> the beginning of this fic describes akihiko experiencing something similar to a panic attack. if this is a trigger for you, please tread carefully.

“Hey, uh, can you maybe-- stop-- STOP STOP--”

“Okay, I’m--” Shinjiro takes a hard knee to the crotch. ”OW, jesus!”

“Sorry,” Akihiko gasps, and Shinjiro wants to grab him and tuck his head in the crook of his shoulder until the wild, scared look in Akihiko’s eyes goes away, but he also really, really doesn’t think that being grabbed unexpectedly is what Akihiko needs right now. “Sorry, shit, sorry, I--”

“It’s okay,” Shinjiro says. He finishes extracting himself from where he was tangled up with Akihiko, crawls back down the bed with his hands up where Akihiko can see them. “It’s alright. Yeah?”

Akihiko’s breathing isn’t slowing down. The whites of his eyes are huge, and his pupils are blown so wide it’s entirely possible the dim light of the bedroom is hurting his eyes. His hands are shaking against the sheets.

“Okay,” Shinjiro says. “Alright. I’m not gonna-- touch anything, I’m just pulling your boxers back up, yeah? I’m not touching anything.”

“Shinji,” Akihiko whimpers, as soon as Shinjiro leans forward. Shinjiro freezes before his hands can make contact with fabric. “ _Shinji_ \--!”

“It’s okay,” Shinjiro says. He backs off again. “Just breathe for a sec, alright?”

Akihiko makes a long, miserable noise and flops back against the pillows, covering his face with both hands.

“It’s alright,” Shinjiro says. He wants to do-- _something_ , anything, even just awkwardly pat Akihiko’s shin, for god’s sake. But Akihiko is still shaking, still gulping at air like he’s not breathing enough, and Shinjiro did that, even if it was an accident. “If you can, tell me what you need, okay?”

Akihiko whimpers into his hands. Shinjiro settles in at the end of the bed and tries to arrange his legs so he’s not falling half off, but also not touching Akihiko. It’s a struggle. The bed wasn’t really made for this shit.

“I’m really sorry,” Akihiko mumbles.

“S’alright,” Shinjiro says. “You got me pretty good, though, ‘s a rare day when I’m glad I don’t have a dick. If I did you might’ve taken me out.”

Akihiko lets out an unhappy, startled bark of laughter. “I didn’t mean to. I knew you were already stopping.”

“I _said_ it’s alright,” Shinjiro says. “And you better just be apologizing for the knee thing, and not the rest, or I’m gonna have to kick your ass.”

“Like you could,” Akihiko says, finally starting to breathe a little easier. His hands slide away from his face, gradually dropping back onto the pillow.

“Okay,” Shinjiro says. “It’s okay, Aki.”

Akihiko makes a face at him, nose crinkling up, then reaches down to yank his boxers all the way back up on his hips. Not that they’d really even gotten that far off.

“S’it alright if I touch you again?” Shinjiro asks. “Not like _that_ , obviously, but--”

“Yeah,” Akihiko grumbles, opening his arms, and Shinjiro crawls forward to sprawl all over him, one arm draped protectively across his waist. “You really gonna kick my ass if I say--”

“ _Yes_.”

Shinjiro can feel Akihiko’s mouth curve into a pout where it’s pressed against his hair. “I am, though.”

“Don’t make me get up,” Shinjiro mutters, against Akihiko’s shoulder. “Nobody wins if I have to beat you senseless with a pillow.”

“Fuck you, I always win pillow fights.”

“Only because I always forfeit so we can actually get some fucking sleep.”

“You’re always the one who starts it!”

“To try to get you to _stop talking_ , dammit, what else am I supposed to do when you wake me up at ass-o-clock all ‘Shinji, where do birds go when it rains?’”

“You’re just grouchy because you don’t know where birds go when it rains either,” Akihiko says. He’s more loose-limbed and relaxed under Shinjiro now, none of the tightness and trembling from before.

“I don’t care about the goddamned birds,” Shinjiro says, and Akihiko snorts, probably because that’s a blatant lie. Shinjiro is the one who uses their state-of-the-art Kirijo technology presents from Mitsuru to look up what the safest human food for birds is, after all. “Hey, so, uh, you don’t have to, but if you feel up to it. Uh. Tell me what went wrong, so I don’t do it again.”

Akihiko is quiet for a long moment. Shinjiro starts to wonder if maybe he’s not going to answer, if he fucked up by asking right when Aki was starting to calm down again.

“I dunno,” Akihiko says. “I just-- when you tried to touch me down there, it was just like, _no_ , y’know?”

“Can’t say I know from personal experience,” Shinjiro uses the arm thrown across Akihiko’s torso to pat his hip as comfortingly as he can manage, in this position. “But I think I got the picture.”

“Sor--”

“What the fuck, I just said don’t apologize, I’ll grab a fucking pillow right now, just _watch_ me--”

“No, no, I’m comfortable right now! Don’t get up, have mercy!” Akihiko laughs, using the arms he has wrapped around Shinjiro’s shoulders to pin him down. Shinjiro makes a big show of struggling without actually putting any real effort into it, and somehow they end up rolling over anyway, Akihiko sprawling across Shinjiro instead of the other way around.

“Y’know,” Shinjiro says. He stares up at the ceiling. “I kind of thought you wouldn’t be into it.”

“Really?”

“Why do you sound surprised? You’ve never done or said a damn thing in your life to show any interest in sex. Before you brought it up I’d been wondering if you even knew sex _happened_.”

Akihiko makes an indignant noise. “I had to take sex ed in school, too, you know.”

“Uh-huh,” Shinjiro says. “Anyway, I figured you would just be bored or stop me when you didn’t like it, not-- well. I guess flipping your shit is a way of stopping me.”

Akihiko makes a grouchy noise against Shinjiro’s shoulder, which Shinjiro assumes is the _I-want-to-apologize-but-I-know-you-really-will-beat-me-senseless-with-a-pillow_ noise.

“I thought,” Akihiko mumbles, hesitates, then takes a deep breath and says, “I just thought maybe it would be okay if it was you, you know?”

Shinjiro pauses, at that.

“I mean, you’re right, about-- I’ve never wanted to, before,” Akihiko rolls off of Shinjiro. He doesn’t go far, or break contact entirely, but when Shinjiro props himself up on an elbow to look down at him, he’s scrubbing at his eyes miserably. “I just-- that’s what you do in relationships, isn’t it? In serious ones, at least, and I--”

“Who the fuck told you that,” Shinjiro says.

“Who--?” Akihiko laughs, almost hysterically. “Shinji, who _didn’t_?”

“Jesus,” Shinjiro mutters. He’s right. Of course he’s fucking right.

“I thought maybe I just hadn’t liked anyone enough to, to want to, before, but you, uh,” Akihiko goes a little red in the cheeks. “I, um. Well.”

“Aww,” Shinjiro says, the mocking edge a little less sharp than he meant.

“Fuck you,” Akihiko says.

“No, I’m pretty sure we’ve established that’s not gonna happen.”

“Oh my _fucking_ \--” Akihiko rolls over, grabbing a pillow as he goes and swinging it down _hard_. Shinjiro barks out a laugh as he fends off the assault, trying to wrestle the pillow out of Akihiko’s grip. “You are such a _dick_.”

“Impossible.”

“Ugh,” Akihiko says. He lets Shinjiro pry the pillow away from him and lean up to kiss his cheek. “Why do I even _like_ you.”

“Shitty taste,” Shinjiro suggests. He kisses Akihiko on the mouth this time, soft and lingering.

“Must be,” Akihiko mumbles against his lips. “Hey, you’re... you’re really not--?”

“Hmm?” Shinjiro stuffs the pillow back behind them, fully intent on settling back down to kiss some more. Akihiko pulls back a little when he goes to lean up again. “What’s up?”

“You’re not-- upset?” Akihiko’s gaze darts away from Shinjiro’s face, ends up fixating somewhere on the headboard of the bed. “That I-- I can’t--”

“Akihiko,” Shinjiro says. “Are you serious?”

Akihiko flinches, just barely.

“I’m not dating you for your dick,” says Shinjiro. He sits up all the way, because this is important. “I’m dating you because, for whatever goddamn reason, I actually _like_ you. I really don’t think that’s gonna go away just because you’re not into sex.”

Akihiko gives him a wobbly little smile, but still won’t meet his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What if I’m never into it?”

“I have hands, Aki,” Shinjiro says, dryly. “I can take care of myself without making you do something you’re not comfortable with. We never have to have sex if you don’t want to.”

“I--” Akihiko shakes his head, but swings a leg over Shinjiro’s thighs so he’s straddling his lap. “Thanks. I-- I’m glad I’m dating you.”

“Me too,” Shinjiro says. He starts to lean back against the pillows again, and Akihiko follows him down.

“Thanks for not flipping out,” Akihiko says.

“Listen,” Shinjiro says. “At least I kind of expected this. It’s probably still a step up from when you asked me out, even including you kneeing me in the crotch.”

Akihiko grins nostalgically. “Good times.”

“Only you would think that was a good time.” Shinjiro certainly doesn’t remember blurting out _I’m a boy_ as his best friend was trying to confess to him as one of his finer moments, and he’s not even the one who had to scramble with a resulting 24-hour sexuality crisis.

“Got me you, didn’t it?” Akihiko says. “And I guess I'm not losing you anytime soon.”

“Yeah,” Shinjiro says. He wraps his arms around Akihiko’s shoulders and hauls him the rest of the way down. He doubts this is the end of Akihiko’s struggle with this, not really-- god knows Shinjiro’s gender shit took more than one conversation to settle into-- but it’s a good start, probably. “I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me.”


End file.
